Small Sith Disasters
by Dark Lady Kitty Revel
Summary: Prequel to 'Sith School', Darth Nox's unsuccessful attempts to make her daughter a scary Sith and convince her that cuteness isn't a weapon. Rated T for safety. Kitty and Avrria are my characters.
1. Hug Warfare

Avrria Revel sat in the centre of her mother's bedroom, glaring at a 'training droid'. It wasn't having much effect. Her six foot, murderous, masked Dark Lady of a mother may be intimidating when she crossed her arms and glared, but three-year-old Avrria wasn't. Especially not when dressed up in an outfit that consisted of far too many bows and frills to possibly scare _anything_.

Besides which, droids don't get scared very easily. Well, _some_ droids might, but this one had been assembled hastily by her Dark Lady mother, in an attempt to train her in the ways of Sith. The problem? Kitty Zalia-Revel-Kallig-Nox was many, _many_ things, but mechanically gifted was _not_ one of them. Which explained why the 'droid' in front of Avrria looked suspiciously like a bucket, balanced on 2V-R8's spare legs. It didn't even _have_ fear sensors. Or _any_ sensors, for that matter.

Still, Kitty patiently watched, waiting for her daughter to do something. Meanwhile, Avrria continued to hope that she could scare the 'droid' away. The tin bucket on legs just stood there, completely unmoved by the toddler's angry stare.

When Avie realised that the droid wasn't afraid of her, she tried a new tactic. One that always worked on her father, when she wanted something. Widening her dark green eyes, she blinked up at the droid from under her eyelashes, fake tears welling up in her eyes.

Again, the metal monster was unmoved by her emotions.

"Av...Do something to it. Get it!" Kitty urged her on, longing to see her makeshift 'droid' destroyed by her daughter.

Avrria thought long and hard about this, sitting blinking in quiet confusion, at both her mother and her apparent enemy. Then she reached a decision. If it would not fall for her emotional tricks, she'd have to make peace with it. Standing up and toddling across the floor to the droid, she flashed it an innocent little smile and wrapped her arms around it in a hug.

Then began to cry as her new friend's bucket head dropped off.

Darth Nox was normally an immensely protective mother, who'd go ballistic if anything _dared_ to make _her_ daughter cry. But for once she just stood and stared. While it was true that Avie _had_ dismantled the droid, she'd expected, wanted, and tried to encourage something a little more...Sith like. She sighed. It was 4 P.M now, and all day she'd been trying unsuccessfully to train her heir.

She'd decided to start that morning when Avie whined about being bored.

Maybe I'm not doing this right, maybe she's too young, Kitty thought. Or maybe I just need a long break and some alcohol, she added to herself.


	2. I Has Magic?

Since she'd decided to train her daughter, Darth Nox had encountered nothing but problems. Her daughter was just _not_ Sith-like, in anyway shape or form. She was too... _nice._

Still, Kitty Zalia-Revel-Kallig-Nox was nothing if not stubborn. She never gave up. Besides which, it was only yesterday that she began Avrria's training, the Dark Lady told herself as she slipped out of her bed and glanced down at the toddler resting against her husband Andronikos's leg. In spite of herself, she smiled. Her child may not be a terrifying, psychotic, potential Sith just yet, but she _was_ adorable.

Sighing and pulling on her black dressing gown, she left her two dearest family members (not that she'd necessarily call them that aloud) to sleep, and left her bedroom.

Outside, she headed to the stairs, which led her to the dining room and kitchen. There, she found Ashara busily cooking up breakfast, a process which, despite it's trivial nature, was enough to reduce Khem Val to complaining, as the Dashade was standing and ranting at Ashara about how the 'vapid, tasteless, slush that was what Humanoid's these days called Nubian cuisine disgusted and offended his digestive system with its mere presence.'

Kitty smirked. It was rather amusing to see a hugely powerful ancient Sith monster being so overdramatic about something as minor as what was on offer for breakfast.

Meanwhile, Xalek, Nox's actually Sith and _not_ a toddler Apprentice, was informing Talos Drellik about Kaleesh artefacts.

Just an ordinary morning then, the Dark Lady shrugged as she took her place at the head of the breakfast table. A few moments later, Andronikos emerged, looking sleepy-eyed and mildly irritated, with a small, dark-haired Sith clinging to his leg and wailing. "Uh, Sith, we have a problem. And it wants you." Was all the pirate would disclose before allowing his wife to scoop her daughter off his leg and stumbling back to bed.

The 'problem' instantly transferred her clinging to her mother, whining. "Mummy!" The infant Sith squealed. "Blanket fly!" She added in surprised and slightly scared tones.

"Blanket fly?" Kitty curiously enquired, frowning as she struggled to decode her daughter's words. Avrria merely nodded unhelpfully.

Kitty sighed. If no one was going to help her out, she was going to have to delve into the toddler's mind. Closing her eyes, the Sith concentrated. Mind reading wasn't exactly an easy Force ability, nor one she regularly practiced. But the mind of a child was easier, less protected. Especially _her_ child's mind, made easier to access by their close bond.

Avrria didn't seem to notice, still babbling nonsensically at her mother. But Kitty was elsewhere, tracing over the thoughts of her daughter, rather than her words. The young girl's mind showed her what she needed to know, the scene in her bedroom a few minutes after she left. Avrria had felt the pull on the covers as her mother had moved them, and had reached for them again. The covers had risen into the air, hovering above the bed, and flown into the grip of the startled child at high speed, causing Avie to yelp and shake her father awake in alarm.

As she pulled back from her young daughter's mind, Lady Nox gave a small chuckle. "Avie, darling, that's not a problem."

Avrria tilted her head curiously at her. "But...Fly!" She complained again.

"I know. And it isn't really natural. But it's just the Force." Kitty tried to tell her. Her daughter's utterly bewildered face answered her. "Like mummy's powers. You know, what makes the nasty Hutt police not bother us anymore, even _if_ daddy parked his speeder on that slug's tail." The Darth explained gently.

"I has magic?" Avrria asked, wide-eyed.

Trying very hard not to be frustrated with her daughter, Kitty stifled a sigh. "That's what I've been trying to explain for the last 24 hours..." She groaned.


	3. The Flying Game

Since the revelation that she did, in fact, 'has magic', Avrria had been running around, making things fly. These objects included:

A datapad that had been left lying around

The breakfast of a rather disgruntled Talos

Her father's favourite blaster, which was what finally got Andronikos permanently out of bed and up to the table, where he sat cradling his blasters protectively and cursing the fact that he now had a not only mischievous but force sensitive daughter to deal with.

A bottle of wine that Kitty had put on a high shelf 'out of her reach', causing more entertainment for the Dark Lady's crew as they watched a six-foot Dark Council Member chasing a flying wine bottle across the kitchen in her dressing gown.

It was after the wine incident that Kitty picked up her daughter and began trying to explain that her force powers weren't just for playing pranks and making things fly, along with the point of her attempted training.

However, even if you _are_ a Darth, having a serious conversation with a three-year-old and expecting that to work is like telling an axe-wielding manic that killing you would be really rude and expecting him to listen. In a word, stupid.

The toddler frowned. "No wanna leccycoot people an' Sithie stuff. Want fly." She retorted.

Her mother paused, trying to figure out what she'd just said. Andronikos chose that moment to join the conversation, probably a very bad choice. "Sorry Sith, I'm with her on this. I love you and all that, but I don't want to be dealing with _two_ Sith."

Now it was Kitty's turn to frown. "She's my heir. My force sensitive and very powerful heir. She'll be a good Sith one day." She paused, thinking back to Avrria's attitude on that subject. "...When she's _older_. The training can wait _for now._ "

Andronikos looked slightly concerned. "And until then?" He asked nervously.

"Fly!" Avrria chipped in.

There was a unified groan from the entire crew as they realised the game of flying objects was far from over.


	4. Darth Nox's Weakness: Children

Kitty didn't start seriously trying to train her daughter again for some time, having given up and left Avrria to be mischievous with her force powers, and bug her crew senseless.

Her next attempt began when Avrria was six, and, Darth Nox hoped, a little better equipped to understand the lessons.

Right now, the olive-skinned child was standing in the middle of her mother's dining room, staring up at Kitty, who was sitting in a huge black armchair, trying to like a serious, intimidating Sith.

It was very difficult when faced with the big, curiously blinking green eyes of Avie, looking cute and innocent. But Kitty Zalia-Revel-Kallig-Nox did not admit defeat. _Ever._

"Avrria Revel-Kallig, I am going to make a great Sith out of you." The Dark Lady began in a solemn tone, beginning with her daughter's rarely used full name.

The child's widened curiously. "So I can make _bigger_ things fly?" She grinned gleefully.

Behind her dark ancestral mask, the Sith gave a soft sigh and rolled her eyes. "Not _exactly._ " She told her. "But if you get to be as powerful as me, you can make a _lot_ of things fly." She added, in hope of encouraging co-operation.

The small girl considered this carefully and spoke at length. "Alright...What's this Sithy stuff like then?" She enquired further.

A triumphant smirk appeared behind the mask, and the Sith Lady stood. "Allow me to elaborate." She grinned.

As it turned out, Avie did not wish her mother to elaborate, and Kitty's celebrations were too early. After spending the morning discussing the basic principals of the Sith, Avrria had shrugged and told Kitty bluntly. "But that's _silly._ And _danger-y."_ Though the effect was somewhat dampened by the fact that she had not quite grasped grammar or 'long' words like 'Dangerous', it was still a frustrating setback.

What did Darth Nox do in the face of such a setback? Quite often, she attacked it, but on this particular occasion, she went to lunch.

More accurately, she dragged her crew around a table and moaned while Ashara tried to program 2V-R8 to cook her favourite recipe, and Andronikos took Avrria to the closest thing Nar Shaddaa had to a park.

"She just doesn't _want_ to fulfil her destiny and further my already great legacy!" The Darth complained to her captive audience of Khem, Xalek, and Talos. The three of them, all used to Kitty's whinging, tantrums, and the various other problems of living with a crazed Sith, dutifully nodded and tried to look as though they were vaguely interested.

"None of my Holocrons explain how to deal with this!" The frustrated Sith continued to rant, oblivious to their attitudes. "Nor does my library. My scriptures and tablets are thousands and thousands of years old and they are all completely _useless_! Have you _any_ idea how much this makes me want to _hurt_ someone?" As she finished off this angry complaint, the Sith slammed her fist on the table, making them all jump.

Andronikos, who had just arrived home and put his head around the door, gave a nervous laugh and backed out again. Avrria, however, ran in and obliviously jumped into Kitty's lap. "Don't worry, mummy, whatever Sithy problems you're having will go away, I'm sure." She smiled and hugged the raging Sith.

This was _not_ the kind of problem Darth Nox was used to. You couldn't shoot lightning into it. You couldn't stab it. What could she do?

In the end, the Sith just sat there and put up with the cutesy hugging business. Maybe the Sith stuff _would_ be easier to sort out than she had thought. She didn't know anymore.


	5. Chaos

Only a few weeks after the hugging setback, Kitty's odd mind came up with a solution that was partly inspired by Chaos. Not the kind of chaos Kitty was most familiar with, but the much fluffier form of Chaos that was Avrria's pet Loth-cat. Kitty's 'Master Plan' began shortly after her distraught daughter ran into her quarters and informed her that Chaos had escaped.

Initially, Kitty was pleased that the small aggressive kitten was out of the way, but nonetheless, she promised to look for the creature when she had the time and was about to shoo Avrria away again when her idea dawned on her.

"Actually...Chaos requires more dark side power to be present here before she'll be content." Kitty lied easily, aware that Avie, in her current emotional state and with her naturally naïve mind, wouldn't question her too much.

The small child blinked up at her, "What's that mean?" She asked.

"It means, my dear little Sithling, that you must learn the powers of people like _me!"_ Kitty informed her with a triumphant grin.

Avrria appeared to give this some serious thought, pausing for a very long time before she finally nodded her head, "Okay...For Chaos!" She agreed, in what she deemed to be a brave manner.

Nodding smugly, Darth Nox took her daughter by the hand, "But of course, I do love chaos!" She declared happily, the double meaning lost on the small child as Kitty led her over to one of the many Sith Supply Lockers in the room and tugged it open. Rummaging around inside, Kitty took out some of her oldest Sith Holocrons and old stone tablets containing some basic Sith teachings.

Gathering her resources, the Sith took her daughter and settled down on the edge of her bed with Avrria on her knee and the various Sith artefacts spread out around them. For a good few minutes, Kitty finally seemed to be getting somewhere as they sat quietly and Avie read through a tablet of the Sith code, although due to it being broken, possibly not in the right order. But progress was progress, Lady Nox decided, allowing herself a moment of smugness.

Then something moved against the back of her ankle and a low growl came from under the bed.

Both Sith jumped up, Avrria dropping the piece of the tablet she was currently reading back onto the bed and just stopping her mother from drawing her Lightsaber. The small girl dived under the bed with an enthusiastic cry of, _"Chaos!"_ leaving the Dark Lady to try to coax both a small Sith and a bad-tempered kitten out from under the bed and, in the case of her daughter, back to the attempted training.


End file.
